John

This story is too heartwarming not to relate...

Today, I was at People's Park in Berkeley for the park's 41st anniversary. I was tabling for the Berkeley Free Clinic, where I volunteer as a peer counselor, so we had all kinds of characters approach our table. One was a 45 year old guy named John, and he graced us with his incredible story. Here it is.

In his younger days, John was a firefighter. Back then, they relied more on person to person communication out in the field, rather than by radio. As they were fighting a fire, John was approaching the edge of a cliff. The person who was supposed to be looking out did not communicate that the cliff was near, and so John fell over the cliff, plunging 90 feet through a thicket of trees, finally landing on some boulders. He instantly shattered both of his knee caps, and according to him, "I broke 99 percent of the bones in my body."

After recovering, John became homeless. He got into meth, both dealing and using. He said his cycle was to sell meth until he could buy enough meth to go up into the Berkeley hills, where he would spend several months consistently high. When the drugs were used up, he would return to deal more, until he could go back to the hills.

One time, after finishing a 60 day stint on meth in the hills, something changed for John. The moment his foot hit the sidewalk on his return, his mind snapped, and he realized he needed to stop what he was doing and sober up. He gave away his remaining drugs, telling everyone he knew, "Never ask me for this ever again." He sobered up on his own, and also got a couple of his friends to sober up. They moved into Section 1A housing (free government housing).

"John," I asked. "So many people in your situation don't make it. Why are you different? Why did you make it?" He pointed to his right, where his 13 year old daughter stood. "Everything was for her," he said. "Without her, I wouldn't have cared about myself enough to change."

This is the first of three points he and I were able to identify in what is responsible for someone making it (or not making it) out of a tough situation. Here are the three:

1. Having a higher purpose, something outside of yourself. For some people recovering, that purpose becomes a higher power, like God. But it can just as well be someone else in your life, or an ideal you believe in. Perhaps because when you're in addiction you're so mired in your own problems, you need to believe in something outside of yourself to escape it.

2. Community Support. John had people around him (like his daughter) who believed in him, who supported him, who kept him honest. He admitted, he could not have maintained his soberness alone. He needed people. We need people.

3. The will and desire John wanted it so bad, wanted so badly to get his daughter back, that it fueled him whenever he was feeling weak. He discovered that indomitable human spirit that exists in all of us. When he tapped into that, already having a higher purpose and community support, he could make it.

John said he sobered up in 2007, and that today, April 2010, was his first day back in the park since then. He now raises his 13 year old daughter and helps people who are addicted get off their addictions by getting them in programs. The man has a certain vibe, an aura around him. It is one you can only have when you have been to hell and back, when you have seen the darkest night imaginable, the darkest depth of the human spirit, and returned to the light. To go away and come back, to struggle and persevere, to lose everything and regain it, seems like one of the most incredible blessings we could receive.

I forgot to mention, due to his 90 foot plunge off the cliff, John is in constant pain. He's got a pretty sunny disposition, too. How does he do it?

I look at John and I think that he's special, but I think we all have that within us. Maybe we don't see it until we encounter something dark and despairing, but it's there, as sure as your beating heart. When we tap into the best part of ourselves, we can always do it.

Here's to you, John, for the joy you bring to the world.

With love,
Ryan